tanning my ta ta s it's a good day

— ke$ha(@keshasuxx) May 18, 2013

My favourite thing about twitter is that it allows stupid people everywhere to show the whole world how stupid they are.

— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) May 18, 2013

Played Houston! Then rehearsed in Vegas for Billboards! Then cleaned my closet and concluded that roughly 79% of my shirts are striped.

— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) May 18, 2013

Day 1 E-Cig, Gotta do it!!! This is for you mom twitter.com/BrunoMars/stat…

— Bruno Mars (@BrunoMars) May 12, 2013

Just reading up on my summer schedule in the tabloids. I wonder if they saw the day I had marked off that they can blow me...?

— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 15, 2013

Thanks for letting me be the 5th wheel last night! @therollingstones twitpic.com/cq72uv

— Katy Perry (@katyperry) May 13, 2013

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change" -a prayer for all those who miss my beard. It will be back in due time.

— Jesse Tyler Ferguson (@jessetyler) May 16, 2013

I heard an early demo of #OohLaLa smurfed its way onto the internet today :(The real version will be at radio and iTunes June 16th :)

— Britney Spears (@britneyspears) May 17, 2013

Wakin up to weed i rolled yesterday thinkin bout today. Way to look out for thyself

— Wiz Khalifa (@wizkhalifa) May 17, 2013

"I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog." - dog's inner monologue

— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) May 17, 2013

Dentist tmr am- heres hoping I sleep through the alarm. :(

— Carly Rae Jepsen (@carlyraejepsen) May 13, 2013

Congrats @ddlovato on the new record! So happy for you!

— joe jonas (@joejonas) May 14, 2013

back in vegas for the billboard awards with the wolfpack. we are the three best friends that anyone could have, we are the three....

— Ed Sheeran (@edsheeran) May 17, 2013

All these love songs I wrote aren't about girls they're about food

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) May 13, 2013

Rihanna singin about spicy pot noodles in we found love

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) May 13, 2013

On set shooting music video with @alexoficial for #HoyTengoGanasDeTi twitter.com/xtina/status/3…

— Christina Aguilera (@xtina) May 15, 2013

I think I wore it better! twitter.com/robinwilliams/…

— Robin Williams (@robinwilliams) May 8, 2013

#crazykids #behindthescenes instagram.com/p/ZGahVEu1eD/

— ke$ha(@keshasuxx) May 9, 2013

YouTube may start charging? I guess cats are sick of working for free.

— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) May 9, 2013

Jell-O shots at The Met ball is tres punk!

— Katy Perry (@katyperry) May 7, 2013

If you have a baby and have not bought these, you need to GET WITH IT. twitter.com/joshgroban/sta…

— josh groban (@joshgroban) May 8, 2013

#snoopify @snoopdogg twitter.com/MileyCyrus/sta…

— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) May 10, 2013

"Dad and I got tickets to Lollapalooza -- they're our favorite group." #momquotes

— jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) May 8, 2013

Candy Crush is like making a new best friend, until you reach level 30, then it becomes a greedy loser who demands cash to hangout.

— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) May 9, 2013

if im commando wearing the same pants everyday is that as bad as wearing the same underwear everyday???

— KREWELLA (@Krewella) May 9, 2013

considering peeing off the balcony. the bathroom is just too far away.

— Zedd (@Zedd) May 9, 2013

Paparazzi are the worst. Sometimes I give them the exact time and address, and they’re still late.

— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) May 4, 2013

I just had meaningless text with someone. Ugh... my phone feels so dirty.

— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) May 2, 2013

see even my cat likes beards twitter.com/keshasuxx/stat…

— ke$ha(@keshasuxx) May 3, 2013

#ComeAndGetItIn4Days twitter.com/selenagomez/st…

— Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) May 3, 2013

Just ate a big sandwich and now I feel pregnant

— Ed Sheeran (@edsheeran) May 2, 2013

It feels like one of those nights... I google nature-related questions. twitter.com/taylorswift13/…

— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) May 1, 2013

Hey person who writes @michaelbuble's tweets.. (I know who you are) I demand the MAN actually write one himself!! #thisiswar

— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 2, 2013

In my next lifetime I hope to be perfect so as not to disappoint another human being ever. I also hope pigs fly by then. #fairweatherfriends

— P!nk (@Pink) May 3, 2013

Woke up thinking about 'jazzercise'. Don't think I'd ever do it to be honest

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) April 30, 2013

Not entirely sure if its a real thing. Back to bed

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) April 30, 2013

Sometimes it takes me weeks, months, years to write a song and then sometimes... God gives it to me in a moment. Oh, I love this moment.

— Katy Perry (@katyperry) May 3, 2013

I just heard a song with the lyrics "I woke up in a nu Bugatti". Well then.

— Zedd (@Zedd) April 30, 2013

And check out the Twitter beef of the week:

Nicki Minaj is taking her feud with fellow "American Idol" judge Mariah Carey to the social media masses.  Following some biting exchanges with Mariah on Wednesday's "Idol," Nicki followed up with gossip blogger Perez Hilton with a few more zingers on Twitter. 

She tweeted:

What u SHOULD be doing (wit your messy ass) is asking why a woman SO successful at her age, is still so INSECURE, and bitter @perezhilton

— Nicki Minaj (@NICKIMINAJ) May 2, 2013

Nicki also referenced the fact that she recently tied Mariah in having 44 Billboard Hot 100 entries "in only three years of being in the game." 

Bwaha! Burn? Shes sad i tied her record for Hot 100 entries in only 3 years of being in the game. Yep, a black female rapper @perezhilton

— Nicki Minaj (@NICKIMINAJ) May 2, 2013

The rapper also acknowledged the reports of "Idol" seeking to replace Mariah with Jennifer Lopez next season.  She wrote:

All dem #1s but JLo phone ringin? Lol. I guess having a personality, being a secure woman, and giving genuine critique still trumps that.

— Nicki Minaj (@NICKIMINAJ) May 2, 2013

Photo Credit Getty Images

In the words of my friend @carsondaly... It's Saturday people!! Lets start acting like it!!!

— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 27, 2013

Wait EDM actually is a disease?!

— Zedd (@Zedd) April 21, 2013

I am doing a dance in my undies and my manager is trying to shove me in a closet

— ke$ha(@keshasuxx) April 21, 2013

Boom Boom Boom,Let me hear you say wayo

— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) April 20, 2013

Ermm... I was in LA Saturday night... Should I be proud or offended I wasn't invited @rihanna #WHOISTHISDOPPLEGANGER

— Katy Perry (@katyperry) April 24, 2013

@katyperry errm I wasn't! Lol! #miaminights howeverrrrr....I'll still let you spank me!

— Rihanna (@rihanna) April 24, 2013

Sampling buffy the vampire slayer in a song. Of course we are

— Ed Sheeran (@edsheeran) April 22, 2013

Played piano for hours today. So happy to have my own apartment!!! 😊

— demetria lovato (@ddlovato) April 24, 2013

All I want is a boyfriend who wants us to grow old and to get fat together.

— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 24, 2013

It's kinda dope to have an earring if you're old.

— Adam Levine (@adamlevine) April 24, 2013

Currently in the parking spot where Chris b beat up frank o, lolwut

— KREWELLA (@Krewella) April 24, 2013

Did you know a zebra mixed with a donkey is called a Zonkey

— Bruno Mars (@BrunoMars) April 20, 2013

Also, Bruno Mars + LMFAO =

Pickle Pickle Pickle Pickle Yeah!

— Bruno Mars (@BrunoMars) April 18, 2013

im doing a juice cleanse and I want to die

— ke$ha(@keshasuxx) April 9, 2013

Excuse me bartender.. Could I get another drink, some crack and 2 hookers? Just put it on my tab... loid.

— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 17, 2013

You know the 90's are back when you're voluntarily putting record scratches in your songs a la Portishead's Dummy.

— Katy Perry (@katyperry) April 19, 2013

The only jam I don't like is traffic jam.

— Zedd (@Zedd) April 17, 2013

Wow @selenagomez... "Come & Get It" on the #mtvmovieawards was incredible! One of my favorite songs out there right now!

— Britney Spears (@britneyspears) April 15, 2013

Umm.. obsessed with Come & Get It - @selenagomez. So happy for you lady. 😊💕 #LiterallyOnRepeat!!!

— demetria lovato (@ddlovato) April 16, 2013

:))) @ddlovato twitter.com/selenagomez/st…

— Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) April 16, 2013

— Ed Sheeran (@edsheeran) April 15, 2013

I haven't heard the word "manhunt" this much since the last gay pride parade.

— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) April 19, 2013

My weekend playlist Boston, J. Geils Band, Aerosmith, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Dropkick Murphys, NKOTB, The Cars, Pixies and Bell Biv Devoe.

— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) April 20, 2013

Woke up singing middle 8 of Whitney Houston I wanna Dance with somebody

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) April 17, 2013

This is my equivalent to a dragon guarding treasure. twitter.com/taylorswift13/…

— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) April 19, 2013

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

— Adam Lambert (@adamlambert) April 18, 2013

I swore I would never do this and now I am one of those annoying moms showing pics of her baby! Shak twitter.com/shakira/status…

— Shakira (@shakira) April 15, 2013